sedih lagi?

this week had been a homesick week for me.terribly.oh.u can't judge me for being such a pathetic loser.u can't blame me for being such a 'jelly' person to let myself wanting to go home so badly.put yourself in my shoes..
well,being in a hostel just like 30 minutes from home when i was in secondary school was bad enough,being like more than miles far far away from home just couldn't make me feel independent much.
it's not me complaining.it's just my gush of sadness that attacked me to cry like few times this week.it's not because i was weak,or whatever you like to call it,it's just i've been so strong for a long time,longer than i could ever imagined.

nevertheless,i feel like i am so so glad Allah puts me here.coz here,i found my true self.i can now control my emotions well enough.i do admit i can get a little harsh sometimes,but that is that.i can now control my anger.i learned how to stop complaining.i learned to stop asking what if what if.i learned to make myself stronger.the list just keep going on and on if i have to continue.the point is,i am grateful for what i own now.everything,makes me who i am now..thank you Allah.

i just hope,i can be wiser..


i did discover that what i miss the most,is being with my family.i love them.i really do.those 3 words,8 letters,just couldn't show enough as compared to what i am feeling now.i miss them so terribly much.my father jokes,his laughter,my mom's cook,her smile,her tears,her hands.i miss hugging and kissing them..i miss them.enough sad.

danial's growing up well.he has become taller now.i was shock when i saw his picture this evening.so much differences between now and the last time i was home.when i called ibu this evening,aina picked up the phone and told me stories about danial the cutie and i could hear his screaming voice as the background.aina said he protested to where diaper and he kept trying to runaway.haha.sgt pintar! :) i love him!


i think if i continue writing everything that i felt this week,my eyes will become red again and i will be very sleepy again.so lets just not take the risk shall we?

tomorrow is a movie day for us!we are going to watch 'the vow'. lets hope the story goes well so that we won't be feeling that we lost the money for nothing.haha.you better be good! :P


ok.i think i'll continue later.thanks for reading.

salam and good night all :)