Lisa Surihani

is it exceedingly abnormal if i have a crush on someone who i had hated for so long, ever since the first time i saw her act in.... what series was that? oh sorry, i just watched one episode for only around 5minutes or so because my brother was the one who got head over heels over her, not me, i can assure you that. so forgive me for the forgetfulness of mine. but believe me this, i think i may get the love shock myself now! well, if any case you guys have got your brain freezing from producing ideas, let me spill the truth out to make your life a lot easier. i think i might have a crush with Lisa Surihani. i love her. i admire her. i like her cheeks. did i sound, hm, how to put this, lesbian-ish? don't get me wrong love, but i like her way of surviving, to not let herself chickened out after her first epic failure of acting in her first series. i guessed that the first series she was in was a bit of a trial, to actually let herself exposed to the way of everything involved in the world of acting, and fame and glamor. maybe she had sniffed everything in so well that she stood out again and again and still stands out to prove to the world that once fail, doesn't mean forever with failure. you can just kick out the delusion of reference, the paranoia, the shivering of scariness and don't let either of them chip in and ruin your spirit. so, i guess i grant her with enthusiasm, and maybe a little bit of self-confidence, oh and hardwork too.

OK. this post is too boring. chill. i am going to sign myself off. 

night peeps.

in need of a DSLR.

f.y.i, i edited all these pictures myself! for an amateur, I'd say, i kick arse.
now imagine what i am going to produce if i have a DSLR and if i have attended photography class, or study all the tricks to photograph, at the least. I'd be, well, pretty amazing, huh?

stupid shock syndrome

i am intrigued. everybody is getting stupider day by day. yes, pun intended. people just got their brain attacked by one disease, untreatable one, and yes, virally spreading quick, which is called as stupidity shock syndrome. when i say people, i mean Malaysians, particularly. you know why? because when one issue just pops out, it will be the top notch of everything else. issues just line up one after another. take Gangnam style as an example, then Gwiyomi come right next up. then now, PRU issue. i mean come on people, don't get your brains haemorrhage with this syndrome. what i can't understand up till now is that HOW CAN PEOPLE RELATE BETWEEN ELECTIONS AND RELIGIONS??? how suddenly this become a religion issue? i thought it is just a matter of who wins the upper hand and take over the country or something? then why does religion come into the matter? i just don't understand. u know what, i cannot even log in to my Facebook account anymore! my eyes ache to see all those stupidity floating around it! my heart pumps hatred. my brain may got seizures if i keep staring on those nonsensical relations long enough! first elections, between this party and that party, then suddenly it is a religious competition, i mean, all of a sudden?! then fight between Hindus and Muslims, Chinese and Hindus, and Chinese and Muslims, most worst and unimaginable is fight between Muslims and Muslims? come on!!! just go take vaccine or something to prevent this stupidity affects you and be stupid like them. or if you have infected with it, then go get antibiotics or something, literally. just go inject something to let the syndrome goes away for good. IF YOU FIGHT FOR WHO WINS THE ELECTION, THEN BE IT JUST ELECTION. understood no?

here's the thing;  everyone, i mean it, EVERYONE SHOULD JUST SHUT UP AND VOTE! don't let Facebook be a media to spread your infection. ew. it makes me sick!

now i am going to puke after seeing newsfeed on Facebook. give me Domperidone please!

wishlist again.

here's what i am up for : a wishlist, i would say, it is a deadly wishlist since it requires financial support and also, lots of free time. this is a what i plan to do after my scholar has been banked in.

buy:
1. perfume. the last one i used was Beyonce Heat. i was thinking to get Britney's but then, what's available in the market here is only Sparkle, and to add more salts to the wound, the bottle is horridious. so, fat chance! 
2. compact powder
3. flats. to wear in the room, my heels ache stepping on a hard floor! i need to pamper my heels too, u know.
4. Michael Creyton's books!
5. The Kite Runner, although i have plenty to read, but, who cares.
6. Punjab suits. as far as i know, i am staying in India now and will stay here till i end my MBBS course, so i might as well adapt to their cultures, and wear garments like they do. lets have at it!
7. screen guard for my beloved S3. i wanted the glittering type. yes, i am gedik that way
8. DSLR! ; if i pass my third year exams, that is. i might put this in a long-run wishlist since it's going to take me forever to save money! hah, if only money plop down on my legs. it's going to be magical! 


i am sleepy! 

UPDATE : 9. rollerblades. though i don't really know how to team up with gravity in order to stabilize me with rollerblades on, but it's worth a shot. 'tak jatuh tak belajar', yet 'kalau jatuh sakit'. teehee. choose wisely, i guess? *wink*
10. racket. easier to own one than to borrow one. 
11. baju sukan. susah laa nak carik baju sukan kat India!

on second thought, make this as a shopping list (read: must buy!) , a wishlist no more, but you have to minus that DSLR thingy. i can't afford to buy a DSLR. i guess it's a best idea to just stick with my phone camera and my editing applications. 

buzz in!

we hated all the nonsensical political issues being the hottest issues in Malaysia right now. OK. though we study oversea, we have the right to discuss something about our own country, aren't we all? but come on. it doesn't make any sense to just fight over something, well, nonsensical! all those political issues leave us scratching our heads in unison. those politicians, they fight like Kilkenny cats! i bet all of us will agree if they meet up and discuss upon things that benefit everyone, including the country as well. but just to fight over having the upper hands just seems wrong, you know. stone the crows, i better soak myself into finishing Community Medicine record than to watch those people bite each others' tongues! as far as i know, i had enough of those politics! they drove me insane.

InsyaAllah, i will leave for Malaysia on 14th of June this year. 

my dear JPA, could you please bank in my money fast? i need to buy a lot of things! it is not easy being broke. there's no fun in that too. yeah, tell me about it. i am dying over here. to be a pseudo-vegetarian is hard enough, to not follow your friends shopping, that's crazy! i am not going to go on all pseudo-vegetarian-frenzy. i need chicken!

arm wrestling requires so much of strength and will power. oh, great muscular biceps too. so, gym, i guess?

designs. more of them.

i showed my previous designs to one of my friends, my old school friend.

Alia : lawa la, lawa glr, tp lao lukis kemas lg nmpk lawa. tp baju tu dedah2 la wey. xdose ke buat baju bukak aurat? 

and that just made my day.

so, i decided to lukis baju2 baru, saje nak menghabiskan mase lapang la konon konon-nya.

nah: 

i decided to make a jacket, with a vertical lines pattern, including ruffles on both the heads of shoulders (what is 'head of humerus' in English called? sorry. i guess you can relate my words with my picture and understand me without any confusion? i hope so). on the neck, i wanted the jacket to be lifted up a little bit, like you know, how Snow White's dress looks like? the neck part? yes. it's lifted up right? so mine's like that too. and underneath it, you can wear any type of shirts you want. this jacket, i am thinking of using the type of fabric which feels cool and not too thick. i don't know any particular type, but whatever serves my purposes right, then yes, it would do. for the pants, i want to make jeggings, purple in colour. just like in the picture. this outfit is going to be an easy one, for everyday look.

for the second outfit, it's a wedding dress as you can see. i wanted to use chiffon as the outer layer, with glimmers and shimmers on it. and for the lining, i wanted to use a gold colour lining, so it would look expensive and glamor. you just have to imagine that this wedding dress is going to be all glimmering, and sparkling, like fireworks! and at the chest part, there will be shiny beads scattered beautifully and smartly on the chest part, just like the dress in that photo!

OK. sorry for so in a Project Runway-ish mood.

toodle-loo.

Istanbul.

like Katy Perry says : all this money can't buy me a time machine. indeed it is. even if i could buy a time machine (allow me to dream), with only as little as Rs. 1500 in my bank account for now, i would say, a total blah for me. Rs. 1500 is less than RM 100! even a Bershka shirt is more expensive! i was thinking of being a pure vegetarian after all, what with all the bankruptcy and all. the last time i checked, i was a pseudo-vegetarian, but this time, i should let myself become a real, true, pure vegetarian since i can't afford pretty much any chicken if i want to survive for the next two weeks, that is. i just hope that JPA will bank in my money as soon as possible so that i can breath new fresh air of relief and go on shopping. well, my days have been so and so, since i have not yet done anything extraordinary, take hiking up mountains or go on a tour to Istanbul as examples. speaking of which, i would love to visit Istanbul one fine day. if i can't go alone, then be it with my husband. oh on second thought, traveling with husband is more awesome than traveling alone, so cancel that 'go alone' part. i watched Lisa's movie of which i fell in love deeply, with that blue mosque in Istanbul. and the place is very, very beautiful! so yeah, i am on the verge of getting myself high and ecstatic if i am able to go on a tour there. i hope my dream will come true.

you know, actually i write this because, i want to let my stomach feel a little 'empty', because i just ate one bowl of maggi and a bowl of ladies fingers (again). i took my dinner very late tonight-it's not supper.it's my dinner even though i was very late that i got myself stomachache-because i was cleaning my room and i was taking too much of time with my yoga today. so that's the reason why i ended up taking dinner very late. what more is that i am so sleepy that i could fall asleep within a blink if i lay my head, wanting to take a nap. nap won't cut it for me now. i will acutely fall into a deep sleep. because i don't want to sleep with a full stomach, thence, i am here writing this post to bore all of you who are reading this.

ciao.

designs. really?

oh, shut up!! how could they do that to Joshua? i mean, he deserved to win over Anya! he should win! his collection was far more better than Anya! not that Anya's was bad, but i liked Joshua's even better. i would gladly buy Joshua's if i have the privilege. boy oh boy, Anya just got lucky they chose her instead of Joshua. in case you guys are wondering, i was talking about Project Runway season 9. oh by the way, i love Heidi Klum. i love her so much! no wonder she's a supermodel. she is just, well, super, model. and businesswoman too i heard? of course, Hollywood actors, they will all eventually get their hands dirty on businesses, if what i have been observing is correct, that is.

i wanna show you guys something. i usually design garments with pencils and papers but this time, i chose to design using mouse and laptop! i used paint application. well it's a little bit vibrate-y and shaky, the lines i mean, but who am i to get such powerful drawings? it's not like i am taking even remotely close to a fashion major. i just did this out of boredom, curiosity (because i challenged myself) and interest.

don't judge now. i don't intend to actually sell my designs. i know it's sexy and quite the opposite of what we should be actually wearing, OK, not quite, exact opposite, if you are too judge-y with my words. but sexier dresses are so much easier to draw, no pun intended. the first black dress, it is a sharp dress, where at the arms, they are like two pieces of arm sleeves connected by a piece of cloth of same material, on both the sides. this dress exposed both the groins part, which makes it looks sheek and elegant. at the same time, sexy. the legs part, at both the sides, i would like to use elastic strings like shown on the picture so that when one's wearing it, it's gonna exposed their legs and it will fit according to their beautiful structured legs, you know what i mean?
for the second look, i would like to use somewhat plastic (i don't know if it's a real plastic or what other name should i put it, i have no idea. my knowledge about fabrics and everything of the sort is meagre) on the neck part, just like drawn in the photo. then, for the below the exposed stomach part, i would want to make a drape-y kind of long skirt, using chiffon, because i want it to be a light, drape-y skirt, with a see-through purpose. and on the inside, i would like to use a skinny type of jumper with the same colour with the skirt and it is, like i mentioned, tight and skinny, so that when the see-through effect is seen, then people will see the skinny jumper on the inside, making it quite sharp and smart, don't you agree? i guess i am quite dreaming, aren't i?
OK, that would be all.

i am tantalized.

boy oh boy i am in the mood! i just watched Project Runway, which made me so eager and enthusiastic! i was ecstatic i couldn't inhale good oxygen!! i want it so badly to design clothes, to produce dresses, for my own hobby, my own collections! i am not that handy to knit beautiful designs, to sew gorgeous clothes, to manipulate something unconventional into super unbelievable extraordinary dresses! how come you don't know anything about Project Runway, poor you! i just watched this one episode where they made such exquisite, extraordinary, super gorgeous dresses out of materials from a pet store! yes, believe it or not, PET STORE! i couldn't believe how creative a human brain can be! well, OK, i know it is so capable of everything, from memorizing to contemplating ideas to planing futures or anything, just name it (thank you Allah for your brains guys!), but i mean, come on! PET MATERIALS for Heidi Klum's sake? heck, you guys are geniuses! i, for the life of me, am very much eager to have such creativity, such manipulative capability, such hands that so artsy. i am friggin' jealous! you know, i like to design dresses! i always design dresses for women especially, during classes, sorry lecturers! i love designing dresses or gowns, or clothes for kids! if only i have the knowledge of sewing and the materials to actually produce dresses! of course, also, if only i have the leverage of having a really good fortune that i have so much of money in my bank account that i can spend them without even worry sick of depleting them, then i would be very happy, to tell you the truth. what am i saying in the beginning? oh yes. let me tell you this, this one particular guy in that show, made a beautiful dress out of birds seeds! BIRDS SEEDS!!!!! can you imagine that?!!! and it turned out to be such a glimmering, glossy, silhouette dress! i was breathless for one second! my rib cage was about to explode with carbon dioxide retained in my lungs, and the pressure inside my body had the capability to even produce hernia! i loved that dress that much! that left me thinking, dreaming even, to have the time, the source, the money, to actually make dresses of my own one fine day. sewing my children's clothes, is a must. but designing beautiful dresses and actually sell them (having a boutique sounds 'delicious'), tantamount to a butterfly having backbone, seeing how busy i will be after i finish my MBBS. ah, one fine day, if Allah wills. my plan to open a restaurant is still inside of me OK, but then again, my life would be so much fun with a boutique too, am i right?
OK, now after the massive hoo ha, i am going to go fresh up and take a deep breath to brush off the adrenaline. 

bye.

it is midnight.

yes it's true. the clock just strike 12. i don't even feel remotely close to sleepy. why, you ask? i didn't sip any coffee, i didn't take any caffeine. oh maybe because of the yoga i did this evening? no. i don't think so. speaking of which, i did yoga to have great flat abs, (6pax sounds good) and of course, to burn some calories, because well you see-it is debatable- i think i am fat. i know you don't agree to it, like i said, debatable, still, i think i am categorized under fat people. you don't have any idea of what i am going through every single day just watching myself thoroughly in front of the mirror. it is a pity to know that your stomach is somewhat, well, to put it mildly and humbly, not so captivating. i want those flat abs. i longed for 6pax. as pathetic as i may sound, i have my own reasons, mind you. plus, it is good to have a healthy body, not worrying about how your heart might get thrombosed, what with the saturated fatty acids and all for every 5 minutes. and the thought of being obese is making me haemorrhage. i did notice that men always complain that women always whine about their weights. oh well, just as us women feel like keeling over every 10 minutes hearing you babbling on how to make your body more muscular may seem similar to you guys complain about us whining, so yeah, you don't have the right to not let us have our right. of course i know maybe this talk about fat, about feeling obese, all those craps, just because i let my OCD gets the best of me, but still, i heed to my OCD. i like my messed up logic, thank you very much.

OK enough. talking about fat makes me feel somewhat, fatty. 

you know i have been all dramatic, all homesick, what with all the dramas and the troubles i have been through right? so while i was all forlorn, feeling adrift, i stumbled upon this ;
... 'What Allah willed [has occurred]; there is no power except in Allah '....   
( Surah Al-Kahf; 18:39)


 it's like it talked to me indirectly you know? like OK. here's the thing Aisyah, just know that everything happened for a reason, and you just have to have faith, because there is no one out there that can help you, they are all miniscules. only Allah has the power, so let Him leads you, trust Him in everything, and ask for His help in everything. and with that, i felt relieved. i breathed in the spirit of being strong and i let it circulated all through my blood circulations.

to everyone out there who is having any kind of hardships, just be strong and have faith because everything will turn out to be just fine, if Allah wills.

ramblings.

finally it rained cat and dog yesterday, alhamdulillah! what more can we ask right? it has been too hot this summer with the scorching sun, that and depletion of ozone layers. and everyone seems to plan some ideas of renovating buildings, or to decorate their places by mean of destruction of the greens, cutting off trees and all other oxygen-producing things. what is beauty when there is no fresh and clean oxygen supply for humans to appreciate it? what is there to captivate eyes if there is depleting ozone layer with excessive heat production? we were very glad, very grateful that it finally rained yesterday midnight. sorry, i don't know the exact time when it started to rain since i was already in my fantasy land and when i woke up, it was already raining heavily, rain feat thunders. so if you are being pessimistic, go ask Google. oh speaking of which, i was shocked and i abruptly got back into the real life due to the thunder sounds and the black out. you know what i did? i cried. yes. call it an imbecile move or what so ever, but i was really scared yesterday, what with the forgetfulness of mine to shut the windows and having the bed just beside the window, which mean direct connection to the thunders and if i was unlucky and unfortunate enough, i might not even be able to breath this morning, and that is something super scary! so i rushed and barged into Asida's room, woke her up, and asked for her kindly help to shut my windows, and thank you Asida, for helping me. she is benevolent, i am very grateful to have her on my side.

hey, ya know? i just talked to Danial on the phone just now! so i am electrified with happiness and homesickness, in case you haven't noticed. aw, he is adorable to the point of you smiling all the way your cooking! i miss him, and his little cunning brother too! if i am to tell you guys all about them, i will surely end up with a pail of tears and bilateral reddening and edema of eyes. so lets not talk about them then. just what worth knowing is that, i miss them so much, suffocatingly much.

is there any harm in eating too much of ladies fingers? when i say too much, i mean about a kilo of ladies fingers! if you know, please enlighten me. because i couldn't refrain myself from eating them as i would never find the word boring in my dictionary if it comes to ladies fingers. being said that, i am going to cook some more of them right now. taa~

yeah right. get a grip!

have you heard a novel called 'ESCAPE'? i suggest you don't buy it because well, i left out after reading first few pages. i didn't say it's utterly boring, it's just that the plot is too slow, and the story talks more about New York and whatnot,including laws and lawyers, which for a person who couldn't care less about laws and lawyers as I am, couldn't actually cling to it days and nights. it was supposedly good (that was what i thought when my hand first sensed it) since the title itself explains freedom, explains tension-free phase, but i was quite disappointed. never the less, i will try my best to finish it before i end my third year, call it a challenge. i wasn't enduring that much regret since i got in on sale, mind you. it was 50% discount! so i guess everyone with a shopaholic stamina and spirit wouldn't mind too much when the magical 'DISCOUNTS' word appears right? you just have to grab it right? right? there is no second doubt in buying too much books within half an hour. you can't complain nor criticize when it comes to books, am i right? because if you just as much as one word try to criticize a person buying a book, then you will sound like a complete nada. so yeah. go figure!

i must say this out loud because it is going to get my chest explode if i just keep it underneath my rib cage. GET A GRIP honey! ain't life is easy. but you can opt to survive on your own, choose wisely and live with your own choices, not the choice where everyone pushes you into, you know what i mean? just because people shove you into a path where you can apt to leave but because you are afraid of what people are going to say or say bad things about you, you stay and just follow them like a cat being stuck with a hideous collar bone.yes, just because that, doesn't mean you can't choose to live your life in your own ways, with adding some advices and some good talks to accompany you side by side. i mean, what's important is you know what is right and what is wrong. i agree, there is no harm in listening others ramblings, but you have to GET A GRIP! choose as wisely as you can. you ain't a small kid anymore, kid. i guess that's the function of brain after all, if you know how to use it, that is. don't listen to a person who only knows how to live his or her life with jealousy and dreams of conquering every possible mind in this world, acting innocent and play dumb when actually what he or she does best is being a (God forbid) hypocrite. don't live with jealousy my friends. it will ruin you, now and then. trust me. i am minding my tongue, but you have to agree on this point, a person who is jealous of the unnecessary things is a person who isn't content with his life, right? so yeah, ponder upon that will you? go get your brain stimulated! boy, sorry you have to read me like this. but i just listened to one of my old friends complaints and that makes me sick of a person who is very jealous due to unimportant and unnecessary things, like baju die lagi cantik, muke die lagi bersih, almari die lagi bersih and bla bla bla. come on now! GET A GRIP!

one more thing, it is agreeable that the most important question for a student studying in Mysore is 'WHERE TO EAT'??! and since Asida and I are fasting today, we spent a lot of time asking the same nauseating question of all time; WHERE TO EAT TODAY!!

dream on!

if i am fortunate enough, i want to visit these places :

1. Sabah . they say it's a place rich with seafood. so, yeah.
2. Dubai.
3. New Zealand. 
4. Paris.
5. Taj Mahal.
6. Japan.
7. Egypt.
 

rage. hate.

believe it or not, i was so angry but,ironically, i couldn't bombard anything up here to prove that i was in rage. i kept calm, kept myself in harmony and peace. i just gulped everything down to my gut with such a big, huge, massive gulp and let my alimentary canal worked everything out with my heart and mind kept in silence. no, you won't be able to decipher what i have been thinking, what i have been shuffling around my mind these few days because, well, you weren't in my shoes, still aren't. people, matter-of-fact, they tend to spend a lot of time backstabbing and playing dumb while in the meantime being the most incredible hypocrites of the world( God forbid!). yes. you have to agree at some point that they are quite a few out there that waste their time by screening what bad deeds other people did when actually what they should do is that considering the fact that they are too, doing the same mistake that other people did. speaking of which, if you feel the heat of maybe, just possibly maybe, my words did harm you, you can omit all the things and crush the paranoia into pieces. don't let the delusion of reference affects you now.

i am being emotionally homesick, incredibly missing home, intoxicatingly wishing to be with the people i love. i know you couldn't smell the forlornness, because what i feel right at this moment are unfathomable. everything just can't wait to bulldoze me. you might add 'everybody' to that too, if i am being sarcastic. 

p.s : stop acting like a child! don't act like an imbecile teenager, an idiotic, moronic teenager! argh! grow up!!  i mean, come on! i don't know how a person can cope with such human being, but then again, do we have a choice, really? it's not like we can let them shoot up and die? OK. sorry. that was harsh. boy oh boy, i abhor thing like this. it's loathsome! 

these are the effects of me reading A Thousand Splendid Suns and recapping about Does My Head Look Big In This. see? you should buy these two books because, well, just see how i reacted upon those two novels! they left quite significant effects on me. bravo!