Why am I so homesick?! T.T

You and I'll be safe and sound.

Oh wait, really? We both know, coming back to India is a bit of a chaos since your emotions are all unstable and on the verge of breaking down. Plus, you will definitely deviate from your ray of focus every 5 minutes or so, so safe and sound you say? Nah. The other thing is that I find it hard to brush off, scale down my jet lag from my travelling yesterday. So I don't blame myself if I found myself keeling over every 15 minutes. Lets just say, I miss home, hence the complaining begins.

Ok.i.should.just.shut.up.

That munchkin.

Serious conversations between Danial and I, and my mother, whom I love dearly.

Me: Danial nak pegi school x?

Dani: xnak. Nanti abg tumbuk friends nantiiii...

Me: ish. Not good. Kalau friends tumbuk abg nnt cane? Ha..

Dani: abg mati la..

T.T

In the car;

Danial: ei. Smelly la! Tutup nose!

Me: aah la.. Smelly. Why smelly?

Dani: sbb ade lorry sampah Depan tu (pointing at a lorry in front of ours)

Me: eh. Aah la..ade lorry sampah.. Lorry sampah bawak ape? (Giving him this sarcastic look thinking he won't be able to answer my question since he's just two years old plus, and he was supposed to not know, or so I thought)

Dani: lorry sampah bawak sampah la (giving this look saying 'whattttt??you don't know????'

Me: *crying inside* good job mate.

In the toilet, while my mother cleaned his poop;

Mother: lain kali abg tell la others bile berak, barula taik xkene bird abg.. (Yup, he is still being potty trained. And obviously, he is the one kid that is nauseated by dirty things such as mud, wet slippers, his own vomits, his own poop, to name a few.)

Dani: Jiddah( which means grandma in Arabic, which he calls my mother with)!!! Abg berak!!! 

Mother: *abstained from laughing* dah berak tak yah la jerit bagitau dah.

And I laughed my lungs out outside the toilet.

 One evening; 

Dani: Micah( the name he calls me), tlg amek kan ball abg please.

Me: where is your ball?

Dani: bawah stairs. Tu. Tu.

Me: *struggling to creep below the stairs just to take his Thomas ball.* nah ball.

Dani: good job mate!

Me: be careful ok. Don't breAk Jiddah's vases collections.

Dani: are you shua? (Read: are you sure)

Me: -.-''

I saw a drink they sell in CCD named WTF, and I was like, whaaaatttttt the hey!

Not to be overly dramatic, but it was 11.12.13, 24 minutes ago.

So, I have three more days left before I leave for Malaysia, which I am super excited. Don't question me why am I staying here when I should be home weeks ago, because to be honest, I questioned my decision quite a lot that I felt very much in agony. But, I stop questioning myself after I thought;' hey you know what, you've made your own choice, YOUR own, no one is gonna deal with it but yourself, so move on lady!' And here I am, moving on, counting days to home. Oh, had I not told you that I am very proud of myself for making me a double chocolate pudding? It's not a regular chocolate pudding, it's a DOUBLE chocolate pudding! How awesome is that, huh? For a chocolate-craze-lunatic like me, I would say that that pretty much satisfied my obsession for chocolate at that point of time. I say at that point of time because while I am writing this, reminiscing about my chocolate pudding; how it tasted, how it was soft yet not too ooey gooey, how it was not too sweet and yet it was marvelously delicious, my stomach is grumbling, longing for chocolate. Oh, had it not because of my chocolate pudding that I managed to not spend my money on Ferraro roche. I am trying to save here, if you cannot sense the gist of my thoughts. 

Bad decision

Why do I have to be the one who always makes the wrong choice??!! Why I always opted for the decision that I trusted to be the one that's good for me but yet it turned out to be the worst choice to choose. Yes, I regretted my stay here, I should have just gone long back, on the first day of the holiday itself! Yup, rub some dirt on my face, why wouldn't you, huh?

Chocolate pudding

My chocolate pudding is in the fridge, I am waiting impatiently for it to chill. It should take three hours to chill, best if overnight. But lets be honest, patience is not my strong suit. Plus, when it comes to chocolate, I couldn't refrain. Don't you ever say, I just walked away, I will always want you. See you in another five minutes, chocolate pudding! 

What am I saying?

All I need to do right at this moment is that, I need to shovel off any negativity and unwanted stuff from my thoughts. All this negativity is driving me nuts, jeapordizing my life. I guess the best way to get your ass out of your misery is by dumping unwanted things afar, ditching every single negative vibe, and set your priorities right. Alas, my previous days of doom didn't end well because I was too busy being jealous for stupid things. The thing with jealousy is that, you always find yourself so helplessly inferior, which in turn causes you to just isolate yourself from others because you hate that alien feelings you feel deep inside your gut. So When you isolate yourself, you will have no confidence at all to do whatever you want to do, or whatever you do best, just because you are burdened by the inferiority, and that inferiority is the consequence of your stupid jealousy. You see where I'm going here? 

On the serious note, I feel like making chocolate pudding. Gah, I am all over the top mad for chocolates right now. Pity me.

I thought of making homemade churros.

My passion for cooking, and baking, if I might add, is huge, let me tell you that. Yes, I am a medical student studying in India, currently in the end of my third year. Having said that, of course I am busy, if I say so myself. Life is hectic here. Still, I like to do what I love to do, like cooking for an example. Some of my friends did ask me, where I got all the time to bake, or why am I so rajin because if they are to be taken into considerations, they are very busy and they couldn't find the time to cook or bake. Seriously? First of all, you just have to steal time to make you a good dish, don't you? If you can survive with eating outside food coz you can and you have stash of money to do so, then please, I have no right to say no. But, I reckon that I would have to sooner or later cook for others too, my parents, siblings, my kids and husband too. I won't let them starve, no? Plus, cooking won't take that much of a time, trust me. If you are pro or talented enough to work fast, or to do two things together, then it won't take you more than an hour for a simple meal. Last time I checked, I could cook both fried vegetables and sambal telur within half an hour. Oh, and rice too. See? Secondly, matter-of-fact-ly speaking, I am busy myself. Posting is tiring because you have to stand for two hours straight. Theory classes  are too. Superficially, we are all busy doing what we've got to do. It's a matter of how you manage your time and how you orient your living. It's as simple as that. Third, when I bake, I often follow the easiest recipe I could find and that I think I could do, within my capability and within the time allocated for me to produce a cake. I don't like those finicky recipes and those that give too much hassle. Moreover, my kitchen area is small, giving me little space to work. So easy recipe is a go for me.

Right now, I feel like making a homemade churros. But I am fasting today so I think I have to bury that thought deep inside my head and let it arises back when it is near to the time to break fast. My stomach grumbles like crazy for the thought of it. Plus, I won't just break fast with only churros, right? I have to think of something appetizing to wolf down when I break fast! Oh honey, I am lack of produce to even make one good dish. I need to go to the supermarket but I am tired. Meh.

Natural, always.

The reason why I don't want to indulge myself in baking red velvet cake or rainbow cake is because I don't agree in giving people who eat my cake to consume a lot of food coloring. I don't really into food coloring, not that I against it, but I am not a fan when it comes to food coloring. I control my cake. I don't like my cake to be too sweet either. I prefer more bland than sweet. Since living in India makes you eat a lot, hear this, A LOT of MSG and salt, I don't want my cake to be as unhealthy as those colored cakes give. Correct me if I am wrong, but who like to eat unhealthy food for their brains? If I ever make a rainbow cake, I'd have gone to the natural coloring one, where I use beet root for red, turmeric for yellow, carrot for orange. But hold on,  I don't dare to get involved in so many steps to make just a cake, because I have a small oven only, with a small baking mould-which explains the consumption of hours and high threshold of patience. Plus, I don't even have a baking tray! So as for now, rainbow cake and red velvet cake are off of my bucket list.