bad

sorry. i don't feel like uploading any photos now, nor do i have any subject for that matter. just one more paper to go.i will stay strong.
my paranoia level just got way more high,that is.
superman,  TAKE ME AWAY FROM HERE! 

i cannot wait for tomorrow's exam to finish! i mean, i CAN'T, what more can i emphasize?
though i am sad due to the delay for me to set my step in Malaysia, but i feel like you are in absolute free when there is no exam stress or what so ever particular to exams right?they won't hurt you any time soon, by that i mean not until results are out. i couldn't give too much concern on results right now, i still have an ongoing exam and i have yet so many chapters to deal with! i slept off till one hour ago, so i need to speed up my learning process (which i am not good at.it doesn't come handy to me to be a fast reader you know). Mei Yee will return to Malaysia tomorrow and i am jealous, that is. i went around telling people how i was and still am jealous of her, which makes me sound selfish. am I? no. i am not Gabriella in Desperate Housewives in being a selfish woman. or i guess being jealous of someone who is returning to hometown sooner than you is not so wrong after all?

Danial da besar, da lain da muke die tau! da makin tinggi and kurus (or maybe just my optical illusion is messing me up?) sebab ibu cakap die macam makin gemok. it is okay darling, don't lose the baby fats just yet, not until you know the world of Herbalife or any body-building obsession which are currently being the top news feed of all network communications, me think so. at least my FB news feed are jammed with body-building and all those 6-pax thingy floating on it. i don't say that it is wrong, do what you need to do, just don't kacau my life, that is all.

don't you ever dare say that i have read and be prepared for tomorrow due to the time-stealing-posting-moment because truly i am not!i am still stuck at one page this whole time. i write out of boredom and just honestly because i CANNOT wait to be home, how many times do i need to mention that?

just try your best, i know.

i am at the point of getting fed-up with everything in the proximity right now. if i am to complain, i will for sure list down almost anything i see in my vision angle, like how dusty my book rack is, how many clothes to wash, how little perfume i have left etc etc etc.
yes. i have been attacked by disappointment-hormone surge, so what?

i need to be surrounded by the people i love the most, not that i don't love my house mates, just that i need my family. family is the virtue of my happiness, the pillar of my strength, the backbone of my survival. i need to hug my mom so tightly to the point of asphyxiating, literally. i need to talk and nag to my dad to the extent of him yawning. i need to bully my sister and go on shopping spree with exactly not enough money to buy one Fossil watch (haaa! i need a new watch. may I, please?) i need to bully Danial and take every video of him. i need my brother's attention. i want Aina to bully me to cook for her. i need to ask Faris to drive me anywhere i feel like getting my butt into. i need to actually hold Haikal myself, without the support of everyone else (the last time i was home,i didn't actually hold him solely myself you know.what i did was ask my mom to put Haikal on my laps or on my folded hands.what?i was too afraid he might fall down because he was too small and weightless!). i need to breath the air surrounding my home. can you see how pathetically homesick i am now? just 3 more papers. i guess i should just hold on to the promises of being able to actually be happy at home and stay strong meanwhile.

Pathology is the killer. indeed i will try my best if you gonna say just try your best because that's the sentence they all give me when i complain; 

me: esok exam.cuak sgt.

Nina : just try your best.sape suro tak bace dari awal?

me : O_o

me : ala esok exam patho.semalam na tertido.tak bace ape2 lagi ni.takut laa.

Ismat : ala da biase da dengar tu. tu laa.g bace Murakami lagi.takpe. try your best je.i know you can.

me : amboi sentapppp.thanks.doakan tau!

me: weyh esok Patho weyhh!!!banyak lg xbace!aritu tak bace langsung!

Zahirah: ala takpe syah..just try your best..bole punye..

go figure,Aisyah!

sheesh

eighth day- 29.1.13

 hdr-normal

i miss home.if i am going to spit the truth out, i am deathly homesick right now.i am in no place to be super strong, what with the exam stress and all. please just be over soon.my exam sucked.i hope I'll pass, what more can i ask right? 


p.s : yes my love. you are my prince of the world. though i mentioned i miss home and everyone in it, i have no doubt in spilling that i also miss you. deep down, i know you know the truth. this makes everything here so hard. i will be strong. may your prayers be with me too. i miss you, this time i will make it public in claiming that i miss you too, for some reason. 

i am deathly homesick, deathly.

dear patho love, please be nice to me tomorrow.

cloudy day

seventh day-28.1.13

subhanallah.

 hdr-gorgeous

nothing can beats Allah's light. no matter how many fluorescent lamps you can collect to defeat the sunlight, you will never be able to succeed. that was this morning, when i flipped my window curtain so as to get a shot of my breakfast, i suddenly got all heated up by the morning rays and i wasn't afraid to being exposed to the sunlight because i need my vitamin D. i didn't really think that this photo is superb since Ismat thought that this picture is an overall OK. then OK it is.

Forensic is tomorrow you know. so please pray for me ya.

 

lalala~

sorry for what i am about to say because that will make people give wrong ideas of me, as pathetically as i sound, i truly am jealous of certain people right now. i mean, specially those who i think got it all.okay.it is cold right now.i need my jacket on.

 sixth day-27.1.13 (ahhh.my recent activity is going to be over soon.i feel sad nonetheless)

my new study table.i got it on sale.awesome!

 lomo-i don't remember,sorry.

where got time to read?

 hdr-gorgeous

i put that photo of my novels in collection right now on Instagram too you know.i loved to buy books even though i hardly had have enough time to actually finish them all. right now i need to focus on what's worth,by that i mean practical exams,which due on Monday! i guess you are guessing why on earth did i own so many of romance novels?well, i don't like the idea of putting myself, as in, imagining myself in the crime scene in the crime and mystery type of novel, hallucinating that i am the kid who has been chopped up my a serial killer, thinking that i am the one who are the victim of powerful stalking stalker.no.i probably won't sleep if i am to read those types of novels. not that i imagine myself being the pretty girl in the romantic type of novels, it's just that it is easy that way, i think.it doesn't scare me to the point of not being able to go out and do my shopping activity like the other types of novels do.moreover, i can easily sleep while i read this type of novels because the stories are really flowery and bubbly that you will end up sleeping. even so, i sometimes choose crime and mystery novels if they they catch my eyesight and i feel somewhat eager to own them, like what Unwanted and Room did to me (but i feel sad because i don't actually own Unwanted,yet). don't get me wrong darlings, i am not that geeky type if you think i am being all geeky. i love reading novels but not to the point where i am sticking with them everywhere i go or having to spend almost all my money on them.i just loved to read them until i get bored at one time and will probably never look at them again, like the fate of The Vampire Diaries and P.S I Love You. ha ha.trust me baby, i yawned too while i was telling you about novels. mcm da takde cite laen pulak kan. haha. 

someone is calling me. taa.

h.u.h?

no pue ser, no pue ser. i am so sleepy now as i might doze off any minute now.
heck, please don't. i don't do dozing off really well because i will probably sleep like a baby eventually. nap is not my thing. sleep on the other hand, is really my thing. see how selenge i am right now? 

my friend just got married and i am jealous that is. for the how many times i can't keep track of, i am still stuck in India making me to no way of visiting or involving to any of my friends' occasions. homaigod i don't think any of my sentences make sense right now. i couldn't be bother much as i am going to brush away this sleepiness. no, it is too early for me to get my beauty sleep. i have frikkin' exam starting on Monday!

about my plan, i have no idea or subject for that matter to upload today. i may be uploading photo of my new study table if i am to going through so much of trouble to find something more interesting or fun.

wo hen xiang jia,my friends.

Insta-blog.

fifth day- 26.1.13

well,bad-angled or not,i like my flowery bottle so very much.

 lomo-cool

comfy!

 hdr-bright

i may be sticking to this plan for only so while because exam is so near and i have yet so many chapters to read. i guess the impending urge and desire to upload more photos in one day is not so wrong after all, perhaps. Mei Yee said : haih banyak betol mase budak ni upload2 gambar sume. i somehow think she had misinterpreted me. i don't have that much time as she claimed, it's just that i don't spend them wisely. uploading photos to make my plan work is what i call distraction. i wanted to get distracted and to not keep on thinking about the exams stress and what not. i felt like i needed to do something which i think fun enough to get me distracted once a while thence the uploading started few days back. but Mei Yee, my dear, we can absolutely argue with that later. not that 'argue' argue, the other 'argue', if you know what i mean. 
hate that pop-up thing from Funshion media because they always show 18SX photos, which i don't appreciate at all!!! people will definitely give wrong ideas about me if they are to borrow my laptop!! i wanted to ripped Funshion media off my laptop but unfortunately i couldn't. well, don't ask. so in case any of you want to use my laptop, never be shocked by the pop-up photos. and if you know how to solve this problem, do tell.

i am in love with Instagram right now, maybe that is what they called Instagram-shock? ha ha (oh and i definitely know how to write HA HA in Chinese. bravo!). mine is nuraisyahz. add la if you have an account too.

new account on Instagram!

suke-suke-25.1.13

i cheat! i don't edit this photo.

loved the flower on my bed-linen.

 sketch-paint

i am so going to screw myself with this whole editing thing! please bear with me if i complain soon about how i spend my time by not studying!practicals start on Monday you know.i am going to knock my head on the wall, don't try to stop me.sigh.

wohoo! i have an Instagram account!! feel free to follow me,if i know you, i will gladly follow you back, without any hesitance. so here is my username : nuraisyahz!

now it is time to shower. i am sweaty!

midnight madness

fourth day- 25.1.13

i am gonna upload two photos this time. i am so going to make my mobile phone's memory explode!

it is glistening and shining, or is it just my eyes?

 sketch- paint

this is my ultimate joy.

 sketch- surreal

i usually uploaded photos early in the morning, during or after i took my breakfast. but this time it's different because if i am to take India's time into consideration, it is not yet 25.1.13. but i couldn't be bother that much since i got all hyped with the excitement, thus i felt itchy to upload these early! i am Malaysian after all.my eyes sting, i am dizzy. i need sleep!

bawaku pergi, 
pacu laju-laju...... 

you know what i wish right now? is that car with plate number WTK or maybe WFM or WKB, just take me away from here! pacu laju-laju and take me away! i want a great escape!

ignito

third day- 24.1.13

what i learned yesterday. i am still processing if you must know.

funny color-orange

i am still learning what i jotted down yesterday. my mind is a little rusty, and for some reason, i have a difficulty in remembering foreign languages. even so, i love doing it because i feel like it polishes my brain some how, so maybe the point of all this is that i am hoping for a good brain, a brain that won't happen to have dementia too soon, sooner, or anytime near 60-70. i was thinking to rock my world while still having a good brain up to the point of my death, so that i can still do house chores at an old age.
this has came to my knowledge a long time ago : wo ai ni, still, till now, i don't know how to answer i love you too, and this sadden me. to not knowing a simple thing is what lazy people do. (WO YE AI NI-i love you too).if possible, i don't want to be in the category, the lazy category, though my sisters always claim that i am quite lazy, i can debate,bringing up some points to make it clear that i am not that very lazy, trust me. 
come to think about this whole plan thing, i am now feeling like a little attached to it, like i am so very keen and excited to do it every single day. the only part that i can't accept real much, is that when it's time to transfer the photo from my phone to my laptop. it's leceh in a way if i am to tell the truth. it's not that it is not doable,just that it is unaccepted if honesty is what you ask. still, i can live up to that. i can tolerate with that to make everything happens. i guess my plan rocks after all. up till this point, i will say that i love my plan very much. very the liking. 

oh yeah. my big fat mouth just can't be shut to mention this out loud : 10 more days to home. yeah baby!

out of my mind

what i am thinking right now :

1. Nak balik. there's no other place you can call home. house may not be home, you know.
2. hated that pakcik auto.he held a plastic snake just now, to scare people or to hush people away, which either way leaded to one perspective; rudeness. if you wanted to have passenger, how could you go around holding a plastic snake?! maybe he thought of being cool, but a total blah for him instead. snakes put me in awe, definitely. even specimens' snakes made me itchy, for real!
3. i think i did really bad during my theories. for that, i am so sad and scared,not more than a point to shiver.
4. NAK BALIK. NAK BALIK. NAK BALIK. 


don't pout over small things now will you? people will going to get fed up with you,sooner or later, in which if the former happens first, you are going to end up alone, faster than you can imagine.i disagree to those who think that they can pull out those merajuk faces every time they feel like it. oh come on now.GROW UP!oh also, i don't appreciate it when people pull out 'benci' faces when they hate something. loose all the facial expressions guys!don't strain your facial muscles too much!kalau tak suke, diam2 je.jangan tunjuk sangat yang you xsuke, got that?takdela,klu mmg da terang org tu salah, tego la care baik ye tak?jgn rse diri kite lagi hebat, jgn hine orang.hurm. sorry. i guess i got all drowned by the homesick hormone, screwing with me,bits by bits. ignore me.

awesome mood.

second day-23.1.13

ball lamp, it's awesome!

 colorful-rainbow

 haven't even finished one single page of Pharmacology Practical yet, it's not that i don't want to, i mean, not yet. i am humiliated with my own-humiliating self because i wasn't able to follow what I've organized for myself. yes. I've bought a new organizer, red in color with a little bit of flowers design on the left side. i loved it to say the least.

sometimes my brain cannot figure out well enough why Malaysians think that they should be on par with the Western countries in term of dressings, or fashions if that makes sense.if they wear a tuck in shirt with a full length skirt, must we follow the exact same? sorry if you feel the heat, but i am not pointing to anyone here. it's just that just because i don't wear it, often, i do major fashion crime truth to be told, that doesn't mean you can drag me to the world of fashionista, literally. what I've been meaning to say is that, don't judge me if i am not into the impending trend of shawls or pashminas. don't try to pull me out of my 'biase-biase je' fashion. i am simple in a way that i wear what i feel comfortable with, what i feel light on my skin. don't drag me into the world of skirts or high fashion because being outstanding is not my thing, not that i know of.well, i may not be the brightest apple out of the bunch, or the brightest star in the sky, but i am me, and i am happy, satisfied, with that, thank you very much. 

where i am going with this? ha. i planned on making this or this, if only i have all the ingredients available on my counter. ahh, that would be awesome because i am not in the mood to go buy stuffs today, or so i thought. probably later I'll be a ranger and linger around the Loyal World, because being me who is never seem to be tired when shopping, lazy doesn't fit when it comes to jalan2.

xie xie for reading!

surah Al-'An'am (The Cattle)

Sahih International

Indeed, Allah is the cleaver of grain and date seeds. He brings the living out of the dead and brings the dead out of the living. That is Allah ; so how are you deluded? (6 ; 95)

Sahih International

[He is] the cleaver of daybreak and has made the night for rest and the sun and moon for calculation. That is the determination of the Exalted in Might, the Knowing.
(6; 96)

Sahih International

And it is He who placed for you the stars that you may be guided by them through the darknesses of the land and sea. We have detailed the signs for a people who know.
(6 ; 97)

Sahih International

And it is He who produced you from one soul and [gave you] a place of dwelling and of storage. We have detailed the signs for a people who understand.
( 6 ; 98 ) 


UPDATE : makin di-edit blog ni, makin pelik pulak jadi nye. haha. sorry. xreti la bab2 settings ni. T.T

semangat dgn plan sendiri

first day, second take- 22.1.13


nowadays, i spend more time blogging rather than Facebook-ing, and i don't have any muscle fatigability having to say that every one or two posts, it's my blog anyway haven't you noticed? 

today we just spent our noon having to revise again all the microscopic slides, bones, x-ray radiographs, photos and specimens of Forensic Medicine and Toxicology. yes. we were tired to cram everything in about 3 hours time. we got confused with almost everything due to lack of revising and reviewing of all the things. so yeah. we had troubles there. we just hope that theory viva and the age estimation will be good that we can score some extra marks to cover our theories, if not them, then me, think so. i hope that my practicals will be much more better than my theories so that the theories marks can be compensated to pass. when both combine, I'll pass, ting ting! ameen.

i guess i have all the excitement to upload photos in conjunction with my plan, gushing throughout my blood circulation, jolting every bones in my body. excited much?

Ms. Nurul Asida.

she stays in the opposite room.

she actually looks more radiant than this picture tells.

sorry.i guess i didn't do her justice.

i used 'jelly light image'. 

 Ms. Aw Mei Yee

her room is next to mine.

she likes how i edited hers, so I'm fine with the color brightness.

i apologize for not remembering what type of editing I've done here.

 Ms. Nur Aisyah

(as in cahaya kebahagiaan.tehehe)

i am the one who do the talking.

i don't remember what type of editing i used for mine too.

haiyo. enough la picture for today. nanti takde idea pulak untuk hari esok.

OK fine!

OK OK.
I've made my decision! i am gonna proceed with my initial plan, to upload a photo (or more) per day, that is. this i made, to appreciate my camera phone and my new editing app to the extent of having to go through the troubles of having to take the picture (finding a subject is no fun when you are not the art-intelligence, trust me) , then get your album about to explode with the increasing number of photos, also, having to Bluetooth-transfer the picture here, then get my picture's album in my laptop, pack. i guess it'll all worth it? perhaps. after all, me sticking in this room, and only this room, no other place, is kinda boring what with all the silence here (well if you are already immune-d to the honks, i guess you'll find your inner peace, i say). so this is my first trial. don't laugh.

 like i said, i am lack of creativity, that is.

oh, come to think of it, i have other thing to support my what-the-fish-plan, which is, a friend of mine once said, he wasn't actually read what i wrote on my blog, he usually (and surprisingly more or less) looked at the pictures i posted here. so that leads to my decision to proceed with what I've planned before.

on top of that, i have a new plan, just came ruthlessly into my mind about few minutes ago. i am going to learn Chinese, believe it or not. being a house mate of a Chinese girl, having to listen her giggling and talking with her own mother's tongue always makes me curious, and furious, might i add. in addition to the curiosity, i always think it is best for me to study Chinese since their populations are increasing in Malaysia if i estimated correct. plus, it will be an extra-advantage if i am able to speak in Chinese since i am going to be a doctor in the future, insyaAllah. so i guess Chinese patient will feel more comfortable if i am able to understand their language, more or less. so i think, every now and then, i will steal some time to study what benefits me. i like my plans, both, for some reason.

may my plans succeed. oh and i will probably upload one photo each day, until i am back in Malaysia, meaning till 3rd February 2013.

first day - 22/1/2013

a plan in the making

my brain is going to got fried up with all the earlier and the upcoming exam stress, so i was thinking of doing something with my camera phone since i was so into it, still am, mind you. would it be too fussy if i take one picture, or probably more, per day and upload it here since i am into Facebook no more,not now or probably in the time being. i don't think Facebook is my top notch what with all the unreliable and things which sicken me floating on it. i spend more time blogging than Facebook-ing if you must know. i will reconsider my plan further later because having to Bluetooth-transfer is kinda, leceh don't you think? plus, i don't want to make my album becomes a compact powder now would i? i guess i have to reconsider this twice, or maybe thrice, that is. if only i have a Samsung Galaxy camera. no, I'd rather save my replenishing supply of money to buy cardigans and other things on my wish-list than to buy a Samsung Galaxy camera. 

my mom asked me this afternoon, or evening. sorry, my pink room always transmit pink light due to it's pink curtain, which transform the natural light into pink light since i never lift up my curtain or let it to the sides, thence i hardly notice the difference between afternoon or evening, sorry. okay let's get back to what my mom asked.

ibu : dik ade rindu tak?
me : rindu sangat!! da la exam susah! :'(
ibu : tak ape lah exam.. nnt adik balik bawak balik baju yg nak jahit tau..........

that just makes my day, the question she asked me. i inwardly scream of happiness.
i love you mom.always and forever.

um-huh.

trust me my friend, when it comes to food, I'll be sparkling inside out. i love food and obviously, in love with them, no need to have doubt in that.

well, after long weeks of maggi and unhealthy non-comfort food, we finally step up our digestive system by taking good enough food. today we cooked nasi pataya and bendi belacan. we salivating all the way through the cooking process since we were all in the very need of good food to say the least. even now, while i was tapping my keyboard, i feel like drooling over the olfactory and gustatory hallucination, tell me about it!

 yes. we did smile while we were eating. an enjoyable lunch, i say.

 nasi goreng kampung,

more like nasi goreng-sayur kampung.

tihihi.

but it's good for your digestion, so i thought, why not?

did you guys notice how wonderful the pictures are? well, thanks to my camera phone and my editing app, i can now be happy and extra-confidence even if i know my face looks oily or darker or what ever that makes your photo ugly because those two in combination makes my photo perfectly fine. what? not good as in the DSLR-good? heck, i am not talented in managing my money nor i know how to spend them well, so i guess a DSLR is absolutely far from my dream, not even a sniff of DSLR-sensation is near me. moreover, i am happy and content with my s3, thank you very much.

now i have a new demand! i want an organizer! so please, buy one for me, pretty please. i wanted to be more organize this year, in order to do that, i need a cute yet smart organizer. well, call me optimist, i would be glad rather than sad. if only i have stash of money right in front of me now, i would jump with happiness and you'll definitely see me lingering around the shopping malls holding tonnes of plastic or paper bags of branded things. yiha! 

as for now, i would like to go back to my Murakami and finish like one or two pages then I'll start reading the actual reads! 

ciao.

 

a book review

i have gotten all my revenge for now. all my vengeance had officially diminished by my long long deep sleep.

so it is time for me to start organizing my study time plus novel-and-me time. since i bought two more novels and one Word Perfect book. i know i might sound dumb-ish to have to buy a 10 year old English book, but it is never too old to learn right? i mean learning really is a perpetual process, as in you will never stop from learning even for a split second. everyday is a learning process. when you were a baby, you learned to adapt, you learned to be viable. when you were a school-child, you learned how to cope with schools, bullies, angry teachers, subjects, heavy bags and everything. when you are a college student, you will learn a lot that it'll be too hectic for me to type and describe everything here. so i guess I'll leave that part out for you to discover on your own. i used past tense for the 'baby' and the 'school-child' because i was actually putting myself out there, telling tit bits about my own self. so yeah. since now i am a college student, i am still learning to adapt with almost everything. perhaps, everything makes sense, to say that i don't regret buying a 10-yr old English book because i want to learn. i can manage being a 10-yr old kid in order to accomplish what i want, to be richer with words that is. so yeah. make fun of me if you want to. you can dub me with whatever adjectives you want, i can manage to stand on my own two feet even if you keep on blocking my ways, if you know what i mean. 

my mind kept on thinking to start studying practical, start indulging myself with practicals and slides, instead, i dampen everything my mind planned for me. i think, studying practicals this weekend is obsolete, for now maybe. Dubious, i am not sure how i can survive reading two different things at once. oh talk about novels, here :

I'm done with The Lovely Bones

 now reading.the shoe is dreamy!

 i bought Life of Pi out of jealousy, since Mei Yee got it first.

i rushed my way to bookstore again today, needless to say, out of jealousy.

I'll read later after Bared to You is over.

i guess i got disappointment with The Lovely Bones pretty hard. i could say that all the reviews given by anonymously-named people in the book, were wrong, if i do say so myself. the first few chapters lead me to trouble because i literally paced my way through it since it was kinda hard to understand for an amateur reader like me. but after moments of struggling, i found it to be more or less attractive. it was so nice to read, not until the last and second to last chapters. they brought me down. they crushed my hopes and expectations to get Mr. Harvey killed by a bus or got jailed and hung to death, to watch Mr. Salmon and Mrs. Salmon out to a vacation at Paris and kissing under the sunset at the beach, or maybe Mr. Salmon made love with Mrs. Rathuana for a revenge (OK this is wrong!), and to get Samuel a lottery since he was so nice from the beginning, which i accidentally fell in love with! the ending didn't cut it for me. if i let myself read correctly, there was no Mr. Harvey mentioned anywhere near the end of the story. what sicken me most was that the fact that Susie could get inside Ruth's body. it's so surreal that i could have a panic attack! but seeing how Susie could talk when she's in Heaven and all, making me realize that this novel was originally 'wrong' itself, so i guessed having Susie inside Ruth's body was perfectly fine. OK now i feel like puking to mention it out loud. but that didn't disgust me not maximally. what disgusted me the most, above all, major, was that Susie-Ruth made love with Ray! did i mention Susie-Ruth, which means the dead Susie who's inside Ruth's body while Ruth's somewhere Inbetween? that was completely, unimaginably wrong!! if you planned to make me feel like a crazy kid, then well done, you've succeeded, mission accomplished. but for while there, i was feeling to smack my butt so hard to have to buy this novel in the first place. rather, i should just buy Unwanted. but it's okay, because despite the unthinkable scenes, i would say that that book didn't make it completely worthless. it was good nonetheless. it was, beautifully plotted and greatly written, i grant her that.

for your information, i had two blackouts one after another while writing this post. India is famous for the blackouts right? *giggles*

p.s : Ismat said he would never understand why i accidentally buy new books although i haven't completed reading the old ones.well, i would leave him with his question mark left to be question mark, no explanation to be given there which ends with a full stop. he he.


happy Sunday my friends!

take note, pretty please.

just now these few thoughst popped up into my mind. what if those who actually read my blog, think that i was talking about them, that all the subjects were them? what if they think that i was hating them? so i figured, let's get one thing straight. 
i didn't especially direct all the its to anyone in precise. i mean, i did rebel sometimes, or maybe disagreement came in between the communications of my friends and me, or my family and me, or my teachers and me, but none of the disagreement, or general hating put me in a term where i will write about them, specially them, as in specially dedicated to them, you got me? yes, hating, disliking,objecting,disagreeing, are actually our nature, believe it or not. Allah has granted all of us with feelings and emotions. people are wondrous you know. they are the most complex things we could ever imagine. for that, we should be really grateful. so, i was saying, don't feel like i was talking about you guys. whenever i write about bad thing,or bad person, it doesn't mean i am talking about you,specifically. like for an example, 'people judge...and for that, i kinda hate them'. so, the 'them', is not especially you. not my mom, not my dad, not my sisters, not my brother-in-law, not my brother, not Asida, not Mei Yee, not the persons in the vicinity. maybe if you feel like you always judge, then you can co-relate with it. still, i don't want you to misunderstood of things i wrote. OK i agree to my lack of sensitivity, that sometimes, whenever i mad, i straightaway write it here. but if memory serves well, i didn't really mention the person's name right? rather, i put up with something other than the person's name, like a general population, or something similar. having said that, i am sorry, like a real apology i am giving, to those who actually got hurt with anything I've said, or done. sometimes my lack of analyzing capability put me in a place where people start to grow hatred of me. i, obviously, hate to be hated. i believe, for a fact, that life would be a whole lot easier if people are free with you, in the sense that people don't hate you, nor absolutely like you a lot. generally, i like to be in between like and hate. like if in between black and white, you'll find grey, so between hate and like,...i have no idea.Ha Ha. but i like being that way.
okay i need to prepare myself for my outgoing with Asida. 
ciao.

issues.

ya know what i highly think of, is that people judge. they tend to judge things. or, misunderstood upon things that they even unsure of. when they see things, as in they look from afar or maybe they found out about something, they inevitably 'think' of the things. i must say that people are quite judge-y, sometimes i hate that about them.

i bought new novel yesterday, albeit the 'haven't finished The Lovely Bones yet', i think my weekend will be awesome because i have something to fill in this weekend. i want to go on shopping spree but because of 1. i am on the verge of having to eat vegetables and only vegetables,no other, considering the fact that i am pretty much broke, 2. Mysore doesn't provide you with that much of awesome malls, which based on my personal rating, i would give 2 stars out of 10, so i better enjoy my silent weekend by being stuck in my pink-awesome-room-with-pretty-big-bed-with-lots-and-lots-of-pillows-and-bears. i am content. to stock up my book rack, i bought Bared To You-Sylvia Day. the cover itself is good enough with that dreamy shoe, not to mention the highly convincing side note; If you like Fifty Shades of Grey, then you'll love this. although i haven't actually read that Fifty Shades of Grey, but seeing how Ainina was really absorbed with it the last time i went home, leads me to the satisfaction of choosing this novel as my weekend-to-do.

i miss home, so much. yesterday i spent a lot of my time crying, if you haven't noticed the lumpy black eyes. i was sorry for myself for not being strong enough, i broke down. yes. i admit. i break down quite easily. my mental capability to endure stress isn't fascinating, but i would appreciate if you let me, and my impending sadness, alone. 

on side notes, don't judge and if you can't restraint yourself from all the judgements, then i suggest you keep it to yourself. yes. mouths are for talking, to do all the commenting parts, still, people won't think you are hallucinating if you nag with your own self, perhaps. what am i saying? but i guess you'll understand me somehow, thank you.

back to The Lovely Bones although the first few chapters made me yawn.
i love Saturdays.

the clock is ticking

i have BIG issue on 'getting what i want'. BIG. HUGE. GIGANTIC.

will tell later if i feel like it. now i pretty much in a rush.

i have made a target, more like a wish-in-need-to-come-true, to finish everything about toxicology before 9.30 pm. i know it's quite challenging since 1. i am a slow learner, slow reader, and i get quite distracted every few minutes. 2. it is now 8 o'clock, so i have an hour to make everything right, it is inevitably ridiculous, still, who can blame a girl for aiming high?
this time, i am going to trust my loin instinct, which basically, lower than my gut instinct, seeing that it is loin as in 'below the gut'. 

so, the time starts.....................NOW!

opinions opinions.

here are things i gathered from my friends :
1. Sharifah just snatched the microphone when the girl was still asking questions, i mean, like, during, not after.
2. the girl felt very humiliated, very.
3. Sharifah didn't answer her properly, she did bad. she even arrogantly said something which practically meant that she is awesome and high-class, and the girl is otherwise. 
4. she tweeted that she didn't want to layan all those 'craps' because that will bring her to the same level with them. (what level huh?)
5. she took O-level, which, i don't know what it means. still, i guess it's the best level in the entire universe, as mentioned by her in her definition of 'level'?

so i hoped the points i collected along the way are corrects. okay here are some other things i found floating on Facebook.

1. there's a link to a Youtube video telling the other side of the stories, or the actual stories behind it they say, about Sharifah.
2. video on someone versus Sharifah (are they doing debates or something?)
3. some say stop judging Sharifah, some even posted photos,or videos, or putting up status against Sharifah (as for me,I'd say, give it a rest,give everything a rest. go study instead,or maybe go exercise,burn some calories)

even though i am living in the other side of the world, Facebook will always make you turn your side-view to your own country, since you befriended with with your own country people. still, i am giving all the least care because, 

1. my exams are too stressful that i can no longer cope with pretty much anything else
2. reading notes or links or whatever available on Facebook is just not my thing. that's bad in some ways because sometimes, caving doesn't do you any good. sometimes, things like the war, the Syria thing, the Palestine thing, those things are important, not to be neglected. i must read it. MUST. READ. IT. AISYAH.
3. i usually see videos of Zizan, or Jozan, or trailer of some movies, or some music videos on Youtube. the rest, i don't bother that much i suppose. which practically means, i haven't seen or witnessed any of Sharifah-related videos.

i am not on anyone's side. because to be on anyone sides, you must first know the actual facts of everything to start picking sides. and to do that need a lot of courtesy, which in this case, i seem to be lacking. go read Forensic instead! tomorrow is Forensic, the last theory paper, then I'll be pretty free, my steps will be lighter, and the revenge-sleep-hours will takeover.

one thing i hate though, is when people start to brag over their 'level'. what level? you all knew you'll die and eventually be in the same LEVEL of ground, 7 feet under the ground. you knew right? so what level are you guys talking about? i hate it when people judge who is good, who isn't, who is stupid, who shines bright. who is taking medic, who is taking anything else. i mean, COME ON! medic or not, stupid or not, we are all the same! what differ is our doings, whether it leads us to Jannah or to hell. that would be it.

so guys, i would say, give everything a rest and stop trafficking my news feed. i feel like throwing up!

all these are my opinions, also, i know every one has their own opinions, but please know that every one has the right to their own opinions. so, if you want to start condemning people, just think that everyone deserves their own right, so please respect that.

buzz.

so Pharmacology, over! i won't allow my head to remember every destruction i made while answering the papers. i think i will get myself absorb into Murakami for an hour or so, how's that for a change?
up till now, there's no flashback or images or, easier to say, there is nothing in my frame of mind right now. so i guess I'll update later?
bye for now.  

UPDATE : i just woke up from my beauty sleep, well, 'beauty' there doesn't cut it, what with the panda eyes and everything. at least i got my sleep, that's what important for the time being. i was so closed to get my body exploded, so i guessed sleeping was the best thing to do after an hour of novel-and-I time. sorry, i seemed to be a little slow wasn't i? i guess, i haven't gotten the adrenaline rush just yet.

i wasn't sure if this thing had came to you before, but i just figured, Einstein was a dyslexic, is it true? i am too busy to google, so i guess i will leave out to you guys to do the googl-ing part to confirm thing i just told you. Murakami mentioned this in his book, and i am ascertained that he wasn't lying. 

heck, i really am blanked now. what am i going to post about? my mind is rusty, and i am absolutely out if ideas. the honking sounds pained me, but after i took a deep breath and not to get drenched with hatred, i felt relieved and am totally fine with it now.

i guess i won't be speaking unless i can improve the silence. i am all out, out of ideas, out of mood, out of, well, possibly everything.

love the new application i just installed in my phone.

it's truly magical.

more update : i am furiously curious! PLEASE. everyone who is anyone who is reading this post, please help me understand about the current issues of something related to 'Sharifah' and 'listen listen listen' ? these have been floating on facebook ever since, well, i hardly maintain the upkeep of current issues, so i don't really know since when these things started.of course, i really need to know though. the curiosity kills me, literally. i want to know so eagerly what had happened? they are pretty big issues, or so i thought. i wasn't being very observant.besides, being me, who barely read things everyone posted on facebook, making it more harder for me to understanding things. this time, i really want to know. so if you guys have the time, please clarify me with these.

you go hit the light, i'll set up the camera.

if memory serves well, i haven't got the chance yet to be in television, nor be featured in video or anything. once, my face got stamped on the newspaper, Minda Pelajar or something, it's way back and since Pharmacology is up tomorrow, i don't blame my memory to be rusty in keeping up with my other things in which for the time being, aren't important enough to be prioritized. oh hate to say this, but really, Pharmacology Paper one was like shite, so i am praying hard that my Paper 2 will be okay so that i will eventually pass everything. i have been keeping 'passing' as my first wish in my wishlist every now and then because 1. i am not the top scorer, and 2. up till now, all my papers seemed, how to put this, well, not so good. so i hope i pass. ameen. pray for me okay. 'go home' is a close second by the way. i inevitably ramble much more than what i expected, screw me, i am in a tight schedule and in a hurry, yet, here i am.

okay, i actually came with a purpose.as i mentioned, i haven't steal the spotlight just yet, or probably will never be able to steal it, but being famous isn't my dream, really.besides, i am disgustingly proud, unimaginably happy, ecstatically delighted , to tumpang sekaki with his fame. i can manage having a friend, who is very busy. i said VERY because for a regular student, studying in a university, being that busy isn't ordinary. i am glad that people respect him, just as much as i do. 

 

Ismat, giving talks on YSS.

that has something to do with him, visiting Vietnam, few months back. i haven't saw the video myself, but i will, later, if Allah wills.

Pharmaco, Pharmaco,

is making me tido!

ciao.

ya know the bed feels warmer

i just woke up, and the worst thing is, i have been spending a lot here, surfing and all.
if only i can go online shopping, that would worth it i guess. sadly, i can't. because ICICI services don't include online shopping , or that's what i heard.
well, in any case you ask me which website i spend most of my time at, i would gladly answer my blog it is, with the 'no,i am not self-obsessed' face. yeah.that would be it. i am not self-absorbed, not in any possible way, because, i just ain't the human being who always thought of herself and no other, i am not the one who always put myself first in any matter. but if you wanna claim that i am selfish, hm, if that's the case, i could agree to that, to some extent, because believe it or not, i am selfish, sometimes. if flashbacks transmit the right and true images, i did think of myself first before anyone else on 'where to eat' part, and 'what do you want to do now' part. oh, also on 'i want to have it first' part sometimes, or most of the time perhaps. being the pain in the ass is not the attitude i want to conquer, trust me, not on my list, no, none. sometimes i pity my housemates because they have to tolerate, well, me! and 'me' ain't easy honey, trust me.
i feel like i am blessed with having the best housemates ever, because they always the ones that won't argue, won't pull any annoying faces, the simplest way to put up with this is, they never complain, none that i know of. if they do complain, maybe not to me, to others, i won't mind, at all. since they pretty much make my life here a whole lot easier, i can bare few ups and downs with them. most of the time, i will always be the one who screw up every thing, truth to be told. i will get overly-emotional for stupid reasons, then i will lock up myself in my room, crying inside out because of, well did i mention, stupid reasons? kadang2 tu xpatut pon nak emo sebenarnye tau, tapi i am a woman, so i guess you would understand, it's logic, no need to explain much. so yeah. salu je merajuk dulu. one day, even myself cannot bare the burden of having too emotional emotions, i asked them to write on this little piece of paper, like messages from them, to me, to wish me not to be over-emotional, not to be too grumpy, too snobby and whatever bad words possible. and they did. yes, i did paste it on my book rack, so as to remind myself everyday, not to abandon, or to neglect the best things Allah has given me. i am having this blissful life, thank you Allah.
after today and yesterday over-excessive sleeping hours, i get super-hype now, and guilty, terribly for not appreciating the extra holiday to study well, to prepare well. tomorrow will be pharmacology, pray for me okay. In addition to everything i have told you, i wanna add some more. Pathology and Microbiology were terrible. i answered them terribly. if you ask me to rate, 3 out of 10 will make the cut, in which as you can see, lower than what's needed to pass. like i mentioned earlier in the previous posts, i really hope my gut instinct will be wrong, and eventually, i pass, everything. ameen ameen. rather, i should believe in my loin instinct. yes. loin instinct. that would be interesting, no? having said that, i do agree at some point, that life really is a perpetual yesterday for me, because yesterday, i felt like giving up on studying hard and strive for other papers just because the previous papers i did bad. so i kept on blaming, tormenting myself. hated it.and i should get over it. i don't want to have a life, full of regrets. nah. no one roots for it, trust me on this. no one.

Ian Somerholder himself is excessively good looking. Paul Wesley is smoking hot himself.
so when both combine, you could die, literally.
i saw them both standing, giving the People's choice awards, and they both looked superfine, super-awesome and super-smoking-hot.

see where i am going there? sigh.

ciao.