this food channel makes me go all crazy fuzzy dizzy!

Asweh, Miquita looks stupid in her costume. It makes her boobs look too close up like they're going to jump out and eat you. I even wish there was no such things as boobs, then you wouldn't want to squeeze them all the time. - Stephen Kelman, Pigeon English

and that, just make my day.

OK. here's the thought. after holiday full of Masterchef Australia and Iron chef, i am so much pumped up to open up a restaurant, or kiosk will do just fine since i am all 'busy' and have no degree in culinary course. in case you have never ever watched those two shows, allow me to tell you this ; they make pretty darn good and tempting dishes that it hurts your salivary glands because of over-salivation! i am so jealous. i guess they are born with those hands, like you know what i mean. but, it wouldn't hurt for a regular typical student who cooks for surviving everyday life to try to make pretty good dishes, would it? 

i was ready to publish my post few seconds ago, but then it suddenly pops out to me to story you this; during my train ride to KL Central, i saw a GUY sitting opposite me reading Fifty Shades of Grey and i was like O_o ? really? a guy can survive that novel? i was shocked because even I, who is obviously a girl with the tendency to read romantic novels can't withstand the romance in that novel! i skipped the most part and i just felt like returning the novel to the bookstore and asked the cashier to return back my money! that novel sucks. all the sex, the seducing, the talkings, just made me want to puke. i don't understand why some novelists like to elaborate SO MUCH about sex. i mean, they literally explain everything about it. thus, i was keeping my mind busy the whole ride of my ride with wondering and questioning myself with the whys and hows. i ended up with a good thinking though, that probably that guy skipped the sex part and enjoying himself with how the novelist play with words. 

la la la

if i let myself count the days for me to leave for Malaysia, I'll sure get palpitations. and the most troublesome and loathsome thing to do is to pack things up because being me who is an unconditionally dependent woman with no capability to pack up things neatly and precisely so as to ensure that my baggage is not overweight, it is a sure thing that packing up is what i am annoyed of. 

i dare to make a statement here because this one particular person whom i mean to clarify this isn't free to read my blog. she probably thinks i have no blog at all, i could tell. i miss my other sister, who is not here with us right now. yes, you be good there. we can't wait to see you when you leave for Malaysia this December. and bring me goodies!

now, i have a movie marathon to attend to since my family is sleeping, so i have the living room all for myself. he he.
 

pang pang pang

that's the sound of slap.

people really need sudden pangs in life to make them realize life is not as easy as they dream about, or as what they have planned. dream as high as you want, but believe me honey, dream is only dream, not reality. and your asses are on the reality, not in the fantasy you created where you are the hero and everything else is just to make you live happily ever after. so, my advice is, WAKE UP. pang pang pang.

if you feel like everyone else is letting you down, then you implant strength deep down in your heart and fight back.
if you feel like people keep sulking, pulling faces, then let them be, maybe they don't have nothing else better to do, or maybe they are just love you too much that they can't bear the love no more. so what if they pout? so what if they roll eyes? you just keep your mouth shut and find your way out.
if you feel like people keep bombard you with harsh words, then let them be in their egoistic-stinky-bad vessels which are self-destructive. you go meditate and find peace. heal yourself with Al-Quran. that's the best healing you could ever find.

it is not simple as it sounds. but, it is the best thing you can do and the huge relief, the ultimate one even, after that is completely the best feeling you will ever have.

hazy mazy lazy.

i know everyone is busy talking and worrying about the haze happening in Malaysia right now, which if i let myself think about it a little deeper, is severe and brutal. i can't even bring my nephews to have an evening walk because of the haze. i can't even walk outside myself, let alone go on for shopping sprees. i am worried sick in the house for my family who is working because they have to travel quite far from our house, except my mom. still, i am worried sick. i can't let my father goes out buying things because of the haze, top that with his bad medical conditions. as you can see, the haze is severe. previous morning, i woke up, looking afar, i thought my eyes had turned more blurry, but after awhile, i realized that it's the haze that was blocking my vision. not just that, i also smelled some burned smell and again, it was because of the haze. i am worried for myself too. i just hope that this haze will be over soon. i hope that rain will come fast and let it rain cats and dogs. i pray for my families and everyone else out there to be safe. 

swing swing

if i am not acrophobic as i am, i might stand on the highest floor of my apartment and hold my arms out. i want to mimic birds, because i look at them, and all i see is freedom. space. free.

despite that, i think birds also have to live with struggle to not get caught by the eyes of hunters as they might get shot and eventually be in pots along with few vegetables so as to make delicious courses. see? life is that way. it's either you suck it up or you go at the corner of the room and grieve till you dry your eyes out and starve to death because you cannot tackle life.

OK, i am not angry as i sounded. i am just, tired, i guess.

 

poached hearts.

i don't understand why people always look down on other, i mean, ALWAYS, as in torturing and tormenting this pity person making he or she realize that he or she won't forever be good enough. say, this one person, isn't good in understanding this one particular subject, e.g Ophtalmology, then, does this knows-everything-hero(in) should say it out loud that this one person is stupid? does this give the 'intelligent' person any power to look down on this poor-still-learning-human? you see, it doesn't matter how good you are in something, you have no, seriously, NO power at all to look down on other and say 'oh my, you are pathetic' or anything of the sort. i hate people who are too bossy and too berlagak with everything they have. come on! don't you have a life? do you think that you are very good that you can judge and kutuk-kutuk orang? well guess what, you are no less than a pathetic-bossy-annoying-skunk. shut up. if in any case you have been kutuk-ing any of my posts since i write in English, mostly, i guess it's better if you teach me something good instead tell others that i am stupid. loud at that. i know i am not as remotely as a 9-bands IELTS student, but at least i am trying, can't you see? at least i am learning! and that's good, because we need to fall to learn how to get back up, we need to fail to learn to strive harder for success, we have to cry in order to learn to appreciate happiness, we need to taste sickness in order for us to learn the meaning of being healthy. see? as simple as that. learn! as long as i, or anyone else is still learning, you, orang yang suka pandang rendah kat orang ni, should us, help us, and stop being such a jerk and call us stupids.

sorry, i guess that's just hormone talking.



oh wait, no! this is purely me. this come from a genuine madness, anger and rage.
 

so far so good

my tummy bloats! i look like i have this Cushing syndrome, but thank God, i have none of that. this is just a syndrome call overweight.

so far, i have eaten ; 1. Ramli Burger. OMG! how can one compare Ramli's burger with any other burgers out there? come on! Ramli's one will always win. always! 2.cendol pulut. i just ate this. and i felt wonderful. 3. mussels. yum! 4.pizza! p.s : though i didn't really like pepperoni pizza, but who cares? as long as my hypothalamus sent satisfactory impulses, i was good to go. 5. durian. OK. i have done no justice there. sorry. let me rewrite it again in a proper way. DURIAN!!!! i felt very content, thank you Allah. 6. petai. petai. petai. fullstop. 7.ikan bakar. *salivating* 8. crabs and prawns. yes, in Malaysia, i try to avoid chicken as much as i can to let my system free from chicken, not until i am in India. 9. nasi kerabu. i am a happy kid! 10. laksam. oh yeah, baby. 11. kerang bakar cecah sambal tambah kacang. like you know what i mean? perfecto! 

thank you for reading. now you go eat something OK. or else, your stomach will get gastritis due to increase secretion of gastric acid due to this stimulus i have been giving you!

i need chocolate and peanut butter waffle pronto!

i dreamed of getting one waffle maker but after self-argument and self-resolution, i decided not to buy one because 1. i always this extreme person, where, when i want something, i struggle for the life of me to get what i want. but the eager, the excitement, the joy, the need, always come for only a period of time, then, i will definitely lose interest in that particular thing. take my room light for an example. though i was broke at that time, i just bought it in a blink of an eye without any hesitation because i was so 'in-need' of a room light, during that time. but now, it is all dusty and left alone quietly in the corner of my book rack. *sigh* so i thought, what the hey, i will surely lose interest in this one also, so why bother?   2. i don't know how to make a waffle! to add more abrasion to already abraded heart mucosa, i still cannot produce a wonderful good looking and yum pancake! oh my god. pancake! like, you know what i mean? so how on earth can i do waffle any easier? you tell me.  3. this is not the 'malas-ness' talking, it is the real taste bud acting like a pro like Chef Ramsay's taste buds saying, till now, i can't really find any good flour in India. yes, Maida is there, but, it doesn't really reach the satisfaction, you know. if you are a person who is trying to be like a good cook, then you'll understand that when you think that when the ingredient is a no, it will forever be a no. for me, at least. 4. i am quite broke, in case you haven't noticed the attempt to become vegetarian and to not eat outside food because it is rather expensive and to not shop till i drop. (oh OK, shopping is always an exception, for a girl like me. right no?) 
so, it is a complete no for me for a waffle maker.

on the other hand, seeing that i am currently in Malaysia, it is a privilege for me to get good waffle with no sweat, because i kinda like this one waffle they sell in Giant. even talking about it makes me salivating. thank you salivary glands! you guys rock~

paracetamol is categorized under NSAIDS too, even if it has only mild anti-inflammatory action.

that's just a sweet info for you guys out there, provided that if you are wondering like my friend did. p.s : don't get hepatic toxicity due to paracetamol overdose, OK!

well, hello! i am now in Malaysia, what else matter?!

it feels very good to be home, you know. you can eat whatever you want, whenever you want! yesterday, i ate a bowl of laksam along with nasi kerabu and banana chocolate apam balik in a single sitting, imagine that! and of course, the regret and the guilt and the worrying of getting fat and obese came after. i know i might have to work real hard to burn all of this fat and the sluggish movements as a consequence of my sweet over indulgence, but at the time being, a couldn't care less, can't I?

other than that, i am having my time well spent every night after the others asleep is by watching Masterchef, matter-of-fact, repeatedly! i love cooking shows, any of them! i like to see their creativity, and how they can play with food so well, as if cooking is that easy as picking your nose. eww.

more like dreams of mine, i can say.

you know, there are few things i have in this small frame of mind, which, i would like to enlist it down, so being as a reminder for me, when i am old or simply for future references.

i would really like to;

1. be a teacher, i prefer being a primary school teacher for st least one day, a week max. point to note, i snap easily. so i am very much afraid i might scream and rock their tympanic membranes hard with my loud and high intensity voice if i stay for too long. but it's my childhood dream to be a teacher, you know. but if school is a little big for me, then being a tutor would be just fine.

2. design one or two clothes, e.g pants, kids wears, dress, jumpsuits, jackets, trench coats and sell them. i would really love to be a designer for once.

3. bake cakes and sell them! who don't like their cakes to be sold and to be eaten glutinously by others right? it's a real satisfaction to see others eat your product, right no?

now, i have Community practicals to be done. so, adios.  

exam and ticket conflict, they really aren't mutually liking each other

what confused me now is that, which one should i take into consideration much more? which one is more exciting and nerve-wrecking? to be back home in 7 days time or to have a medicine exam in 5 days time? to tell you the truth, the exam part is a complete no for me. but i like to implant a good faith in me and keep on acting like a good innocent student so i rather lie and say, i am more nerve-wrecked about exam, then comes the going home part. take that. it's a bittersweet lie i am telling you.

I say it's a conflict between those two because we actually bought tickets first, ignoring the exam part. well, not completely ignoring, just that we thought and pretty much calculated with a little pinch of gut instinct, that the exam will be held on 12th June or something, which means, few days earlier than our flight date. so we took the risk by booking flight on 14th June. we were very happy at that time and of course, excited. we were pretty much ensure that the exam will not interfere with our flight date. then suddenly, everything came out of order. they decided to set the exam date on 14th June!! it was very much a doom time for all of us. to make story short, after few days of mental tortures and self-arguments and debates, we finally decided to postpone our tickets. other than feeling very much sad for having to stay here longer than we imagined, we pretty much felt uneasy to put it mildly because the previous tickets were on sale and the latter ones weren't,so we had to add on more money than what i could afford! i was broke, didn't i tell you that zillion times already? the other thing is that now i have less time to focus on Medicine and i don't know how much i could cram, but what i do know is that, whatever the result might be, i will be grateful as i am still learning, and forever will be learning. i have made it clear that i won't be bothered to score great marks and whatnot, i just want to learn. that is all.


i miss my chunky cheeky nephews.

still have a lot to learn

do you know what people often forget? i don't say everyone, but a few, often play their role in forgetting things, as simple as appreciating what people have done. no pun intended, if you feel a tinge of hurt in your bloody heart. i am just pointing out my opinions. truly, people often forget to appreciate, to show how much they appreciate others. how much they are grateful that they are with someones whom have been taking care of them for their lives. let put an example to let this opinion of mine gets easier to understand and not complicate as to re-review back our whole process of growing up to become humans. lets see a husband and a wife. a husband who has been working his ass off to pay house rent, to pay bills, to finish car payments, to pay this and that, everything he needs to do for his entire household. he also needs to keep in check of his family, for he is the leader of the house, the man of the home, the pillar of strength for everyone especially his wife. practically, he requires to sweat for all matters, because, he is a man, as simple as that. even if you check in Al-Quran, Allah gives men more power, more strength, both physically as well as mentally. there is one saying that women are the backbones of men, isn't it? you see, allow me to say this, I'd like to tantamount men to spectacles' frames, the base, get it? just like your basement membranes. they support the lenses, the brands' tags attaching to them, the everything you can imagine a spec would require or need right now. it's their nature to be the men of the family. please say you understand me. lets make my emotions flow easier here shall we?

women, on the other hand, are like the lenses for the spectacles. they are required to support the husbands, to feed the families, to maintain the harmoniousness, the tranquility, peace, happiness, gloriousness and everything great in the families. woman, she sometimes sacrifice her own time, energy for her children and husband. no matter how tired she is, she just blend it into a bowl of feeling that everything she does is for the sake of the family, because she is the wife, so she ignores everything she abhors. i guess i am getting more complicated than before, i presumed. 

OK. here's what i like to say out loud. when women complain, men should keep quite and never ever in their entire lives compare the hardship they has been going through as throwback lines for women. as for women, when men are sick or blabbing their turbulence in lives, they should not fight and not to be so nitpicking about everything. the rule to happiness is that, tolerate! as simple as it sounds, toleration is the most important thing you know. that's the key. you don't need to exchange gifts, you don't need to go shopping for showing how much you care, how much you love, those come later, (they do come in the points OK, because women like to shop!it's in their blood!), but the main point is, tolerate each other. don't compare. sometimes when men speak, women should listen and vice versa. when women cry and tell men how tired they are with all sickness and all, men should never mention their 'things' too. TOLERATE. 

and of course, as i mentioned before, appreciate the people you have before you lose them. appreciate them before they are gone together. people have their limits. even animals have their limits, so why do you think humans don't? you can argue if you want, but trust me on this one, you better appreciate what you have before you have nothing left. i highly doubt that a 'thank you' isn't sufficient? it's suffice!!! i still remember mom always reminds us to appreciate what Allah has given us and not to complain on what we don't have. i always keep it in mind what father says that don't be so eager like a kid who has enough water to drink, food to eat, home for shelter and everything he requires for life but instead he searches for a beautiful ruby that he doesn't require and is out from his capability to buy. those are ones that are easier to mention here. my mom and my dad give advice a lot, too lot. i love you so very much. THANK YOU.

so, as to remind all of you out there, 1. appreciate 2. tolerate 3. be thankful and say thank you.

with that, i thank you all for reading.

how i spent my past two days

i vomited three times, and had loose stools of four times, which if i let myself over-diagnosed,I'd say my butt almost got haemarrhoids,what with all the irritation and all. so, I'll leave the 'oh really' part to you guys.

there's no fun in being sick you know. in case you argue, just go try abrade your skin and see what will you feel right after. whoosh, where does this rage i gain from? maybe because of the post-sickness, plus very terribly messy room, perhaps. you know, even Raihan made a song to remind you of being grateful with all the fives before you get the other fives. still remember? sometimes, we need to keep our mind fresh with all those songs so as to keep us in check, seeing how 'busy' we are as students, or working humans, or whoever we are in that matter. I know, speaking of things is easy as clipping my nails though sometimes i might break them accidentally when I am out of focus, still, that's not the point. the point is, if you are chicken out to see doctor, or to seek for professionals if you are sick, if you let your body trembles just by the thought of it, then I'd suggest you inhale deeply and regain all the strength, suck in all the spirits you could gather and walk into the consultation room like a macho man. because, you might not know that maybe, just maybe, you need to take some pills to help your body work it way out from any disease. but, the utmost important thing is that, without Allah's help, you wouldn't get any cure even if you run all over the world, even if you search for the best doctor in town, you won't find one. trust me. Allah has the cure and from Him, you ask for help.

Alhamdulillah. i am way better now, to say the least. i am trying to keep up and to bring in all the good spirits to implant them in my guts so as to make me moving on away from all the gloominess and all the mushiness. it sucked being sick and knowing, keep remembering the fact that exams are wayyyy approaching that you could do none about it seeing how malaise and intoxicated you were.
  
and, I miss home.