salam all.
i felt so bad.i didn't enjoy the day so very much.in case you haven't noticed,i was highly and deeply irritated today,with almost everything.hate that feeling.it made me obnoxious.super duper hate the feeling.tell me bout it.
first of all,i blamed myself for making my own self miserable.i didn't wake up today for sahur..yes,its tiring as i was sleeping during the whole community medicine class,half of my OBG posting,and i dozed off in the auto,and i slept the whole evening.as if i was left starved.
second of all,i was lack of sensitivity today.i hurted people a lot today,and i was in complete insensitive about it.i didn't notice what things i spurted out from my mouth,which in turns made me feel terribly bad today.
third thing was,i felt like hitting people.okay i am not that strong but you get my point.i felt so angry when people didn't get what i was saying.its like i asked them to 'wake up' you know?being blurred didn't fit well during my whole bad mood.
i fingered myself for being such an ass when i stood up to argue with people telling them that they are wrong in the things they said.well,they weren't wrong.not that i said i was utterly wrong too,actually i could make few points with what i said.regardless,i shouldn't be rude about it.i mean,yes,i did have my opinions and disagreements to things,still,i need not to be mean.i could just say it without hurting others and not to fight with a group of people.
there's just too much things which i regretted a lot i tell u,but i wasn't going to curse myself either.
what i was trying to do here,is that to apologise for all of my wrongdoings.seriously.I AM SO SO SORRY.
i mean it.please,just please forgive me.please?
i am miserable now.the bad things i did just come shuffling through my head,and i don't like it,at all.trust me.i hate to hate myself.and i hate to blame myself..i am here deeply,truly,sorry for everything.
i am not good and i know that.but deep inside,i am truly sorry for everything okay?
:)
i miss ayah and ibu.sobs
i felt so bad.i didn't enjoy the day so very much.in case you haven't noticed,i was highly and deeply irritated today,with almost everything.hate that feeling.it made me obnoxious.super duper hate the feeling.tell me bout it.
first of all,i blamed myself for making my own self miserable.i didn't wake up today for sahur..yes,its tiring as i was sleeping during the whole community medicine class,half of my OBG posting,and i dozed off in the auto,and i slept the whole evening.as if i was left starved.
second of all,i was lack of sensitivity today.i hurted people a lot today,and i was in complete insensitive about it.i didn't notice what things i spurted out from my mouth,which in turns made me feel terribly bad today.
third thing was,i felt like hitting people.okay i am not that strong but you get my point.i felt so angry when people didn't get what i was saying.its like i asked them to 'wake up' you know?being blurred didn't fit well during my whole bad mood.
i fingered myself for being such an ass when i stood up to argue with people telling them that they are wrong in the things they said.well,they weren't wrong.not that i said i was utterly wrong too,actually i could make few points with what i said.regardless,i shouldn't be rude about it.i mean,yes,i did have my opinions and disagreements to things,still,i need not to be mean.i could just say it without hurting others and not to fight with a group of people.
there's just too much things which i regretted a lot i tell u,but i wasn't going to curse myself either.
what i was trying to do here,is that to apologise for all of my wrongdoings.seriously.I AM SO SO SORRY.
i mean it.please,just please forgive me.please?
i am miserable now.the bad things i did just come shuffling through my head,and i don't like it,at all.trust me.i hate to hate myself.and i hate to blame myself..i am here deeply,truly,sorry for everything.
i am not good and i know that.but deep inside,i am truly sorry for everything okay?
:)
i miss ayah and ibu.sobs
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