right here at this moment, i feel like everything is falling apart. everything; whatever I've planned, my studies, my life, everything, is falling apart. this forlornness, this emptiness inside my head, is making me adrift. this sadness, this tear, this pout, every facial expression, is all fake. i don't know what i am going to do, or what choice do i have left, but what i know and what i hold on to is this ;
thank you Allah for making me stand up and fight back for whatever circumstances I am facing with. thank you Allah for never leaving me whenever i need you. thank you Allah for still putting Your trust in me. thank you Allah for never let me go. thank you Allah for giving me all this turbulence so that i realize how i have forgotten you, how i have neglected You, while You are patiently waiting for me to come back to You. You are the Most Merciful. thank you Allah for making myself realize that You know best.
I must say that all this while, i have been growing up silently, without me noticing it. by that i mean, i am stronger now, i feel stronger, i feel wiser. though i get my heart broken because of those homesickness and exam stress, but i never let my tears fall down for the whole world to see. i know i have this unbreakable and uncontrollable hormonal imbalance, but somehow i feel like i am more mature in handling it. you know how homesick i am today? how sad i was just now? did you know how my heart cried inside? how my internal spirit got chewed up and broken into pieces? did you know how my teeth nibble every single courage i have left? you didn't know, did you? i managed to hide everything from human beings, i vividly remember how i pulled myself from the social circle and went to washroom and wipe away the pool of tears on my eyes. i strictly compelled myself to not cry in front of my friends. with that, i am proud of myself because i feel like i have turned into this stronger powerful woman that can cope or handle her things on her own hands. thank you Allah for whispering to me silently telling me that You will never let me, us, alone, because You are The Most Merciful. alhamdulillah.
I know, if i am to compare myself with anyone else, i might end up depressed and got all psychological disturbed, so if i am able to let go and never look down on myself, that would be great. because truth to be told, i hate comparing myself with others. i always implant all the negativity inside of me which brings me to become all inferior, which matter of fact, i abhor so much. i know, if i let myself compare, i will always know that i am never going to be that good like this person, i will never be that kind like the other, i will never be that generous, that humble like the other, all those nevers make me cripple! so, i come to an agreement to never judge the others and I, to just appreciate myself more and never ever compare. i write on this imaginary miniature note in my mind of my new hippocratic oath that i will never let myself compare what's not to compare, i will never look down on myself too significantly, i will never complain, i will learn to be wiser and more generous, i will learn to never give up in whatever circumstances, or whatever tests that screwing my paths. yes. i will love myself as much as i love myself, ha ha.
now, back to text books, so ciao.
Sahih International
And conceal your speech or publicize it; indeed, He is Knowing of that within the breasts.thank you Allah for making me stand up and fight back for whatever circumstances I am facing with. thank you Allah for never leaving me whenever i need you. thank you Allah for still putting Your trust in me. thank you Allah for never let me go. thank you Allah for giving me all this turbulence so that i realize how i have forgotten you, how i have neglected You, while You are patiently waiting for me to come back to You. You are the Most Merciful. thank you Allah for making myself realize that You know best.
I must say that all this while, i have been growing up silently, without me noticing it. by that i mean, i am stronger now, i feel stronger, i feel wiser. though i get my heart broken because of those homesickness and exam stress, but i never let my tears fall down for the whole world to see. i know i have this unbreakable and uncontrollable hormonal imbalance, but somehow i feel like i am more mature in handling it. you know how homesick i am today? how sad i was just now? did you know how my heart cried inside? how my internal spirit got chewed up and broken into pieces? did you know how my teeth nibble every single courage i have left? you didn't know, did you? i managed to hide everything from human beings, i vividly remember how i pulled myself from the social circle and went to washroom and wipe away the pool of tears on my eyes. i strictly compelled myself to not cry in front of my friends. with that, i am proud of myself because i feel like i have turned into this stronger powerful woman that can cope or handle her things on her own hands. thank you Allah for whispering to me silently telling me that You will never let me, us, alone, because You are The Most Merciful. alhamdulillah.
I know, if i am to compare myself with anyone else, i might end up depressed and got all psychological disturbed, so if i am able to let go and never look down on myself, that would be great. because truth to be told, i hate comparing myself with others. i always implant all the negativity inside of me which brings me to become all inferior, which matter of fact, i abhor so much. i know, if i let myself compare, i will always know that i am never going to be that good like this person, i will never be that kind like the other, i will never be that generous, that humble like the other, all those nevers make me cripple! so, i come to an agreement to never judge the others and I, to just appreciate myself more and never ever compare. i write on this imaginary miniature note in my mind of my new hippocratic oath that i will never let myself compare what's not to compare, i will never look down on myself too significantly, i will never complain, i will learn to be wiser and more generous, i will learn to never give up in whatever circumstances, or whatever tests that screwing my paths. yes. i will love myself as much as i love myself, ha ha.
now, back to text books, so ciao.
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