i have plenty to tell you guys. i know i have been pretty much out of reached lately, but now, i will tell you guys what's worth telling.
first thing first, i flunked Forensic. if you are asking, of course i cried. i was sad and i asked myself 'why' for how many times i couldn't collect. i figured out few things.
one; i made too much mistakes, uncountable and unforgivable mistakes. trust me. i did stupid things, which only feeble-minded person will do! i made big mistakes! huge! vast! ginormous! i regretted it to the level of asphyxiating! i did pretty much all-day-and-night crying, which in turn, made my eyes black. i was depressed for real! things i did, cannot be undone. i cannot just rewind the whole things and erase everything to make my life so much better. i cannot. i am tired of crying all day long. i am tired of getting heartburn. i wish i can continue living my life in peace and harmony, but believe me, i just can't act like nothing has happened. so after a lot of thinking and figuring out periods, i have came out with few solutions; i will be strong no matter what! i am going to more mature and wiser! i will not going to listen to those who are going to bring me down and to those who will make my life a whole lot messier!
two; last time, i made it pretty clear how i hated Forensic and how i really, scarily, desperately asked for not repeating Forensic. oh also, how the thoughts of 'it-is-very-a-waste-of-time' and 'really?-we-don't-need-Forensic-at-all' and 'Forensic-is-nonsense!' got in my mind when i was studying Forensic made Allah punished me by failing in Forensic itself! see? when Allah says no, it means no. so when i hated thing, He wanted to show me that i should be grateful and accept thing instead rather than complaining! so He punished me by making me repeat Forensic which i hated so much before. now you see why we need to put trust in Allah and never ever complain of what He has given to us? i am sorry Allah. thank you for reminding me. i am going to learn Forensic properly after this and pass it later, if You will, Oh Allah.
three; i am tired of being all evil and devilish. i wish to be a better person. far better than what people expect of me. well, to tell you the truth, i am a horrible, hideous, terrible person, trust me, i know me. me,myself and I, truly know that beneath this Asian skin, i am a bad person. and i want to change myself so badly! i want to be better, nicer. please pray for me. may Allah eases my way.
now, i feel like crying, again. T_T
i think i won't proceed with other things that screwing up with my mind right now. so ciao.
to everyone who is anyone,i am sorry. terribly sorry, for everything.
first thing first, i flunked Forensic. if you are asking, of course i cried. i was sad and i asked myself 'why' for how many times i couldn't collect. i figured out few things.
one; i made too much mistakes, uncountable and unforgivable mistakes. trust me. i did stupid things, which only feeble-minded person will do! i made big mistakes! huge! vast! ginormous! i regretted it to the level of asphyxiating! i did pretty much all-day-and-night crying, which in turn, made my eyes black. i was depressed for real! things i did, cannot be undone. i cannot just rewind the whole things and erase everything to make my life so much better. i cannot. i am tired of crying all day long. i am tired of getting heartburn. i wish i can continue living my life in peace and harmony, but believe me, i just can't act like nothing has happened. so after a lot of thinking and figuring out periods, i have came out with few solutions; i will be strong no matter what! i am going to more mature and wiser! i will not going to listen to those who are going to bring me down and to those who will make my life a whole lot messier!
two; last time, i made it pretty clear how i hated Forensic and how i really, scarily, desperately asked for not repeating Forensic. oh also, how the thoughts of 'it-is-very-a-waste-of-time' and 'really?-we-don't-need-Forensic-at-all' and 'Forensic-is-nonsense!' got in my mind when i was studying Forensic made Allah punished me by failing in Forensic itself! see? when Allah says no, it means no. so when i hated thing, He wanted to show me that i should be grateful and accept thing instead rather than complaining! so He punished me by making me repeat Forensic which i hated so much before. now you see why we need to put trust in Allah and never ever complain of what He has given to us? i am sorry Allah. thank you for reminding me. i am going to learn Forensic properly after this and pass it later, if You will, Oh Allah.
three; i am tired of being all evil and devilish. i wish to be a better person. far better than what people expect of me. well, to tell you the truth, i am a horrible, hideous, terrible person, trust me, i know me. me,myself and I, truly know that beneath this Asian skin, i am a bad person. and i want to change myself so badly! i want to be better, nicer. please pray for me. may Allah eases my way.
now, i feel like crying, again. T_T
i think i won't proceed with other things that screwing up with my mind right now. so ciao.
to everyone who is anyone,i am sorry. terribly sorry, for everything.
2 comments:
aisyah..jangan putus asa ye.aku pun pernah flunk paper(s) kot.so next time just try belajar suka benda tu.memang ada hikmah bila semua ni jadi.insyaallah net time boleh pass punya.anggap benda ni jadi supaya ko lagi paham apa yang ko belajar tu.
tu lah.memang ade hikmah aku x lulus aritu.. doakan eh.. thank you! thank you! :)
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