ramble

it is a big deal when you feel like all the responsibilities are completely yours and no other. it is like all the burden, the guilt, the pressure, are all on you. all eyes are on you. all mouths talk about you. i know my paranoia is overwhelming, churning me inside out, but i usually let paranoia feat instinct win and get over me. i don't expect people to understand or to mourn over what they don't really care, but i just hope that people will give me peace, or anyone else in that matter. us humans, are linked to making mistakes. there is no way in our systems that can skip from doing even a tiniest mistake. that is why Allah shows us ways to repent. after all, i consider that it is good to find out things the hard way and it all happened in a blink, because if not, i would never realize of how wrong i was, how stupid i was to not think before i acted. you see, regretting is never easy, but without regret, we won't become a better person, trust me, i know.

anyhow, being in Malaysia gave me the advantage to increase my fat content. i am now corpulent. i know this because i am the one who is seeing myself in front of the mirror and not you. so when i think i am fat, it is non debatable. so shut up and suck it up.

my room is pretty much like a sport store. why, u don't believe me? then i welcome you to enjoy the terrible mess my room serves.